The Creation of Consciousness

Chapter 4: The Transformation of God

Here are some of the summaries and personal responses from members of the Association of Learners

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The only experience of God an individual can have is one that is contained within the parameters of the psyche. Just as our ears cannot hear the higher frequencies because they are a limited instrument so is the mind bound by the limits of the psyche. We can only experience an image of God referred to as the Self within ourselves. This experience changed for humanity when Christ died.

Christís crucifixion was a symbolic expression of God sacrificing his amoral self and resurrecting a moral and loving God. The work left for humanity is to now experience the psyche which may contain untransformed aspects of God and redeem these as well as bring to expression the goodness of God. The crucifixion is not the only indication of Godís evolution in the consciousness of man. Earlier in the Biblical stories God is represented as a primitive phenomenon. The story of Abrahamís test by God is a good example. In the beginning of the tale God is referred to as Elohim who asks that Isaac be sacrificed, but once Abraham meets the test and brings to expression a more merciful God who does not require him to sacrifice his son the name Yaweh is used to connote this evolution. Here again the sacrifice of the Son is linked with transformation and evolution of God and is a foreshadowing of the Christ sacrifice. God is always searching for the individual with the ego strength to bear His primitive urges so that they may be transformed.

Greek mythology also provides an example of the archetypal transformation of God in the story of Tantalus. The gods see their dark side in Tantalus and condemn him as their scapegoat. His punishment is to be forever tantalized and excited and to be denied satisfaction. He lives pulled between the opposites of attraction and frustration. The desires represent the primitive urges of God while the frustration represents the self-restraint that brings the transformation of these desires.

In earlier myths stealing the secrets of God was punished seemingly because humanity was not ready for this awareness. We now are ready in conscious development to take on the task of bringing forth the on-going evolution and transformation of God.

Personal Response

Years ago I remember thinking that my human mind was incapable of knowing God. I wondered how individuals experienced God when God is vaster than the universe with its billion galaxies. It makes sense that the psyche would contain a symbolic personification of God within man that we are capable of experiencing, the God-Image, an archetypal representation of Him. Although after reading Edinger and Jung, I am not as eager for the experience knowing that God is still evolving and has untransformed energies.

I exist within the myth of reincarnation and karma and I am struggling to fit together this new information with my old myth. My personal myth held that my original soul which I identify as Ona, was originally created, cast out if you will, from Yaweh and began to gather information about my creator in various ways. Somewhat like the Voyager II in Star Trek: The Motion Picture. (Voyager was sent out to gather information about the universe and when it returns to Earth 3000 years later it is a huge conscious entity threatening to destroy the Earth if it doesnít meet itís creator.) So Ona, my soul, sets out in the higher planes of consciousness experiencing lights of various colors, sounds, music, interactions with other souls. As part of Onaís mission she/he begins to take on forms on Earth. Eventually, advancing to a conscious human she /he begins to experience and express all the characteristics of Yahweh. But due to the laws of karma, for every action that Ona makes she/he receives the rewards or consequences through her/his incarnations. Gradually Ona learns that everything that she/he does Ona is doing to her/himself because she is embedded in Yaweh although she/he is not conscious of it and cannot see that the other incarnate souls are also a part of Yaweh and thus a part of her/himself.

All the time Ona is gathering specific information about the redeemed and unredeemed aspects of God in the body of humanity through repeated incarnations. Ona learns that good actions bring good results but she/he still has Yahwehís original impulses of vengeance, greed, desires and jealousy to name a few. In one lifetime Ona is a pirate, greedy for money and in the course of war with another ship bombs the ship and it sinks all aboard die. Such regret and remorse follow that Ona falls into despair which leads eventually to death. Ona is then reborn as a Puritan mother who tries to control all the evil, unredeemed qualities in her children. Eventually they all leave her. In the next life Ona once again takes on the form of a woman, this time she is the victim of a gang rape by three men and then a murder with a rock beaten against her head many times. She dies a slow death of mortification and shame but this head cracking breaks down her rigid beliefs. Finally Ona comes to her current incarnation, again the themes of: violence, fundamental religion, sexual problems, guilt, shame and trying to control others are presented in her childhood but the pain is so great that she seeks an experience of God to understand her pain. Thinking that if she only becomes one with God she will be at peace and full of Light once again. It is difficult at this point in her journey to discover that she cannot hide within God but is still at work for her creator, but in a new way. Ona has learned a lot over many incarnations too numerous to elaborate on. Ona has redeemed many of Godís negative qualities but she has never understood that those were Godís qualities in her/himself and in others. And Ona had not hit on the right technique to bring the experience of the unconscious to consciousness until now.

My next steps will be further study of the proper techniques for exploration of the unconscious such as Active Imagination, Meditation and Dream Work. I also need guidance in how to build up my strength as an individual. I see how my job has been doing that over the past five years. As an Employee Relations Specialist I sit in on all the disciplinary, termination and severance meetings of our 5000 employees; I have developed a stronger sense of self and of what is right and wrong. Jung and Edingerís works both indicate that humanity is ready for this new awareness and process of individuation. I believe that I am ready and Iíve begun the work. ("Student #1")

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The only experience of God an individual can have is one that is contained within the parameters of the psyche. Just as our ears cannot hear the higher frequencies because they are a limited instrument so is the mind bound by the limits of the psyche. We can only experience an image of God referred to as the Self within ourselves. This experience changed for humanity when Christ died.

Christís crucifixion was a symbolic expression of God sacrificing his amoral self and resurrecting a moral and loving God. The work left for humanity is to now experience the psyche which may contain untransformed aspects of God and redeem these as well as bring to expression the goodness of God. The crucifixion is not the only indication of Godís evolution in the consciousness of man. Earlier in the Biblical stories God is represented as a primitive phenomenon. The story of Abrahamís test by God is a good example. In the beginning of the tale God is referred to as Elohim who asks that Isaac be sacrificed, but once Abraham meets the test and brings to expression a more merciful God who does not require him to sacrifice his son the name Yaweh is used to connote this evolution. Here again the sacrifice of the Son is linked with transformation and evolution of God and is a foreshadowing of the Christ sacrifice. God is always searching for the individual with the ego strength to bear His primitive urges so that they may be transformed.

Greek mythology also provides an example of the archetypal transformation of God in the story of Tantalus. The gods see their dark side in Tantalus and condemn him as their scapegoat. His punishment is to be forever tantalized and excited and to be denied satisfaction. He lives pulled between the opposites of attraction and frustration. The desires represent the primitive urges of God while the frustration represents the self-restraint that brings the transformation of these desires.

In earlier myths stealing the secrets of God was punished seemingly because humanity was not ready for this awareness. We now are ready in conscious development to take on the task of bringing forth the on-going evolution and transformation of God.

Personal Response

Years ago I remember thinking that my human mind was incapable of knowing God. I wondered how individuals experienced God when God is vaster than the universe with its billion galaxies. It makes sense that the psyche would contain a symbolic personification of God within man that we are capable of experiencing, the God-Image, an archetypal representation of Him. Although after reading Edinger and Jung, I am not as eager for the experience knowing that God is still evolving and has untransformed energies.

I exist within the myth of reincarnation and karma and I am struggling to fit together this new information with my old myth. My personal myth held that my original soul which I identify as Ona, was originally created, cast out if you will, from Yaweh and began to gather information about my creator in various ways. Somewhat like the Voyager II in Star Trek: The Motion Picture. (Voyager was sent out to gather information about the universe and when it returns to Earth 3000 years later it is a huge conscious entity threatening to destroy the Earth if it doesnít meet itís creator.) So Ona, my soul, sets out in the higher planes of consciousness experiencing lights of various colors, sounds, music, interactions with other souls. As part of Onaís mission she/he begins to take on forms on Earth. Eventually, advancing to a conscious human she /he begins to experience and express all the characteristics of Yahweh. But due to the laws of karma, for every action that Ona makes she/he receives the rewards or consequences through her/his incarnations. Gradually Ona learns that everything that she/he does Ona is doing to her/himself because she is embedded in Yaweh although she/he is not conscious of it and cannot see that the other incarnate souls are also a part of Yaweh and thus a part of her/himself.

All the time Ona is gathering specific information about the redeemed and unredeemed aspects of God in the body of humanity through repeated incarnations. Ona learns that good actions bring good results but she/he still has Yahwehís original impulses of vengeance, greed, desires and jealousy to name a few. In one lifetime Ona is a pirate, greedy for money and in the course of war with another ship bombs the ship and it sinks all aboard die. Such regret and remorse follow that Ona falls into despair which leads eventually to death. Ona is then reborn as a Puritan mother who tries to control all the evil, unredeemed qualities in her children. Eventually they all leave her. In the next life Ona once again takes on the form of a woman, this time she is the victim of a gang rape by three men and then a murder with a rock beaten against her head many times. She dies a slow death of mortification and shame but this head cracking breaks down her rigid beliefs. Finally Ona comes to her current incarnation, again the themes of: violence, fundamental religion, sexual problems, guilt, shame and trying to control others are presented in her childhood but the pain is so great that she seeks an experience of God to understand her pain. Thinking that if she only becomes one with God she will be at peace and full of Light once again. It is difficult at this point in her journey to discover that she cannot hide within God but is still at work for her creator, but in a new way. Ona has learned a lot over many incarnations too numerous to elaborate on. Ona has redeemed many of Godís negative qualities but she has never understood that those were Godís qualities in her/himself and in others. And Ona had not hit on the right technique to bring the experience of the unconscious to consciousness until now.

My next steps will be further study of the proper techniques for exploration of the unconscious such as Active Imagination, Meditation and Dream Work. I also need guidance in how to build up my strength as an individual. I see how my job has been doing that over the past five years. As an Employee Relations Specialist I sit in on all the disciplinary, termination and severance meetings of our 5000 employees; I have developed a stronger sense of self and of what is right and wrong. Jung and Edingerís works both indicate that humanity is ready for this new awareness and process of individuation. I believe that I am ready and Iíve begun the work. ("Student #1")

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Using biblical history, Jung traces the changes in the God image and correlates them with changes in manís psyche. Greek mythology is also interpreted from this psychological standpoint. This is called depth psychology. These transformations are also the secret and basic meaning of the ancient art of alchemy.

The process of individuation, and thus human existence, is essential for the transformation of God. In individuation the ego strives to know the Self. Self/God will be transformed and humanized as it is assimilated by the ego, i.e., made conscious. When the ego has the strength and motivation to stand against the primitive Self, there is a sense of partnership in mutual transformation. Uniting and harmonizing the opposites found within the psyche brings new insights. The field of consciousness is expanded.

Because God can only be good if man has chosen the good, it is imperative that modern man make ethical decisions for the benefit of the collective. This is the heavy burden or responsibility that is recounted symbolically in stories, legends and myths.

Adequate knowledge of the psyche is truly a matter of life and death because if the emerging God is not humanized and transformed into the Good by a sufficient number of conscious individuals, its dark aspects could destroy us.

Personal Response

While reading this chapter I was reminded of the tale of the lOOth monkey and how when enough individuals pass a certain level of learning (expand their consciousness) all individuals attain that level.

In 1983, an experiment was designed to test Rupert Sheldrakeís morphogenic field theory. One group of (non-Turkish speaking) English children were taught a Turkish nursery rhyme. A second similar group were taught Turkish nonsense syllables. It was theorized that the first group would learn faster and easier since the nursery rhyme had been chanted by untold numbers of Turkish children over many years. Indeed, support for the field theory was found when, in fact, the first group accomplished their task. It appears that knowledge is cumulative and is stored. I believe this field is the same as Jungís collective unconscious and that this is what Edgar Cayce was able to tap into. Included in this field is the concept, introduced by Depak Chopra, of an internal intelligence at the molecular level in the body wherein each new atom demonstrates the original intelligence.

When I was in college (1948-1952), whenever Jungís name came up in (psychology) discussions, his views were quickly discarded because he was someone considered to be "too religious and wierd." I now realize that, in actuality, he moved very far away from traditional religious beliefs. Yet he was certainly more in line with a spiritual outlook-more into the study of the soul. His shocking idea of placing the negative within the God image in the psyche certainly answers a lot of questions about the power of evil better than an anthropomorphic idea of Satan. Jungís belief was that humans, in the process of individuating, have a tendency towards goodness. Thus, it appears to me that with an ideal firmly in place, one can expand Godís consciousness in a beneficial direction.

Michael Murphyís book, The Future of the Body might well be used as part of the current record of how far humans have expanded Godís characteristics. ("Student #2")

 

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Chapter 4 considers the transformation of God, and Edinger opens this section of his book by noting how empirical psychology begins to sound like theology, as the psychological underpinnings of religion are discussed. Edinger quotes a letter of Jung on Godís nature, in which Jung claims that God is good only inasmuch as He is able to manifest His goodness in individuals--one reason why individuation is essential for the transformation of God.

Jung was clearly a visionary, and not afraid to seem so when he spoke of the future and its direction, e.g. in his prediction that human beings were "going to contact spheres of a not yet transformed God when our consciousness begins to extend into the sphere of the unconscious." Hence we can expect the reality of the deus absconditus, the dark side of God, to manifest more clearly.

Edinger gives numerous examples from the Old Testament of the transformation of God that occurred as the patriarchs risked conscious encounters with their primitive aspects. Likewise with ancient mythologies--Tantalus, Sisyphus, Prometheus--and medieval alchemy. All were handling the same material.

It was Jungís realization that 20th century humans have come to a point in psychic evolution at which they are causing Godís suffering by loving their own reason more than Godís secret intentions. They are being called more pressingly than ever to undertake the heroís journey, that passage Nietzsche recognized as so depressing.

It is also cyclical, as the rhythms of the liturgical calendar suggest: birth, death, burial, resurrection--the inner process that occurs over and over as we individuate. The Christian Eucharist/Mass/Communion is a ritual symbolizing how the primordial psyche becomes food for the pious, being transformed as it is assimilated by the ego under the guidance of the Self.

Edinger concludes with a note on our current challenge: from a state of psychological naivetť, we are called to humanize and transform the emergent God, the dark Self now aborning from the earthly efforts of modern man.

 My Reactions to Edingerís Ideas

I came to Edingerís book having familiarity with Jung, his Answer to Job, the concepts of individuation, Self and coniunctio. I long ago had ceased to be contained by orthodox, organized religion, and in its place, had come to regard my weekly dreamwork and Jungian analysis as a form of religio, an integrating activity. More than this, I had read Edinger for another course earlier, and so had wrestled with his ideas in another forum. I also have Uranus in Gemini, 6 planets in air, and career background as a college professor paid, in part, for intellectual innovation. All this by way of prolegomena for stating my reactions to this work.

It did not surprise me. I was not shocked. Indeed, I rather like the idea that our task as humans is to create consciousness, since it seems to give the imprimatur to my long years of work on myself, on trying to get wise to what was going on within (an activity that most people in my circle regarded with amazement, if not contempt).

When I read the book this time, I was in the midst of planning a series of courses/workshops I hope to teach in the months ahead, one of which (I was told in a dream) was to be about the Self. So I found myself noticing all the references to how the Self manifests in life, the stumbling blocks to experiencing the Self (e.g. the shadow), the nature of the Self etc. It proved to be a most felicitous, synchronous experience, confirming for me the psycheís intention that I give this workshop, and filling me with exciting ideas for its content.

To fulfill the demands of this assignment, I have tried to recapture my initial reactions when I first read the book. I recall being somewhat put off by Edingerís effusive opinion about Jung. To be sure Jung was a great man, perhaps one of the geniuses of the century, but certainly his was not "the most conscious life ever lived." Such statements suggest a complete lack of balance, and would make the skeptic wonder about the soundness of the rest of Edingerís judgments.

But I was not a skeptic. After 11 years of Jungian analysis, I am a "true believer" in the process Edinger writes about. I got the impression that Edinger did more than write about it: He also must have lived it. As a Jungian analyst, he had an analysis himself (since a training analysis is required), but more than just going through the motions, he must have actually internalized the process and experienced individuation--what it really feels like--for himself. From my own experience working with half-a-dozen analysts, and from what my long-time analyst, Lynda Schmidt, tells me, Edingerís achievement is not inevitable; it is not uncommon for analysts to go through the motions, but rarely experience the suffering, the intense ego dislocation, the agony of holding the tension of the opposites, and the sense of endless, cyclical rehashing of oneís personal garbage that is the stuff of creating consciousness. Edinger seems to know whereof he speaks. I appreciate that.

More provocative than Edingerís text was the set of questions you appended to the course syllabus. I found these very enjoyable to wrestle with, and here are the results:

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According to Jung, God cannot be evolved into a morally superior state without sacrificing His base aspects, leaving the remaining finer aspects to reign. These primordial, base aspects are first ciphened off into human consciousness and form, where they are recognized as base, then destroyed and transformed. In alchemical terms, God pours himself into the flask of humanity, then transforms base components to refinement in a hellish process of knowledge, torture, pain and death. The transformed or refined portions then rise or resurrect in the consciousness of Self and ego. Both God and man are transformed, and both rise a notch in evolutionary process. Even so, no one knows how much of God is transformed, so the Biblical warning to "fear [the unknown part of] God," has validity.

Christ's sacrifice changed the nature of God. Before, He was jealous, wrathful, and prone to bursts of favoritism; afterwards, all loving and forgiving. As in the example of Job, God (as man) sets the moral example that God (as God) follows. Christ asks for blanket forgiveness for those who ask, or talks God into "saving the sheep." Other Biblical examples where man sets a moral example and talks God out of revenge include Moses saving the idol-worshiping Israelites, and Abraham saving Lot's family from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. (In the example of Abraham nearly sacrificing Isaac, it is not Abraham (a man) but an angel of Yahweh who intervenes). A most potent example of God's need for man in the ritual of transformation is the passage in Ezekiel (22:30-31) where God requests that someone to stop Him from destroying the countryside.

Transformation does not come without pain (as in the crucifixion). In mythology, pain is shown as accompanying the acquisition of divine knowledge (i.e. gaining greater consciousness, piercing the darkness, spreading the light, or otherwise "stealing" from the gods). Tantalus mimics the actions of the gods-- including their unrefined tendency toward cannibalism-- and is tortured (tantalized) for eternity. (Cannibalism is a theme also evident in the Christian ritual of the Eucharist). Sisyphus learned one of Zeus's secrets, told it, and was punished with the impossible task of rolling a great weight (perhaps the weight of knowledge) or a great light (the Sun, consciousness) uphill. Prometheus steals fire from the gods, for the sake of man, and is eternally chained to a rock while an eagle dines on his liver. Those who steal from the gods or even unwittingly learn divine secrets often find themselves carrying a burden that is too great. In alchemy, parallel was seen in the creation of the Philosopher's Stone with the incarnation of God as Christ. In both rituals, a torture or mutilation is involved. That is how the ego perceives transformation into a greater Self, as loss, torture, death.

There is correlation between Christ's death and resurrection and Gnostic tales of the descent of Sophia or Holy Spirit (light) into the darkness of matter; and between Christ's entombment and the chaining of Prometheus to earth. This is another symbol for the burden of knowledge that can chain one to earth. Jung's believed man's burden to be his carrying of ego and Self or God, together. He also said that unless enough people participated in the incarnating of God by allowing an indwelling of the Holy Ghost, darkness would cause much destruction in the world. The continuing incarnation of God is seen as living reality, and the foundation of man's new myth. (Cornett)

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The God of the Old Testament was amoral and lawless. Christ redeemed mankind from the lawless God, but God needed a mirror of Himself in mortal form to bring the consciousness required for change --- the transformation of God into a God of love.

Divine transformation occurs when the ego makes intimate contact with the transpersonal psyche. Man experiences the divine process of change as punishment, torment, death and transfiguration. Every increase in consciousness is motivated by the urge to individuation. The primordial psyche is transformed and humanized as it is assimilated by the ego under the guidance of the Self. If the emergent God that wants to be born in man is not humanized and transformed by a sufficient number of conscious individuals, its dark aspect (primitive desirous aspect of the transpersonal psyche) can destroy us.

PERSONAL REACTION

Consciousness implies becoming aware of, and to become aware of something is to objectify its existence. That is what the creation of consciousness is all about, according to Edinger's book. It means turning transpersonal unconscious contents into something real and substantial, including God Himself, along with His attributes. It is a new myth because the objectification takes place within the individual psyche and so becomes a living experience with transformative power, rather than an object of faith, whose power resides mainly in the object itself.

I have always been in awe of consciousness, and have always known it to be an awesome, "alchemical" process sparked by man's special brand of divinity. The creation of consciousness is truly the 2nd creation, receiving its impetus and potential from the original, lst creation. However, to me, it was always God coming "down" to the level of man, and not vice versa (raising unconscious God to the level of conscious, moral man). Although it may appear to be so, I really don't think that the difference lies in whether or not I am contained in the prevailing, traditional religious myth, but rather to what extent I am in conflict with my containment in either myth, the "old" or the "new". If one needs psychological containment in a myth to experience meaning versus emptiness and despair, then I find that Jung's new proposed myth does not go far enough in containing the essence of meaning that I experience, and so does not resonate with what I "know" to be true. The myth itself leaves me rather empty, though not despairing. Yes, God needs me. But there was a time at the lst creation when I needed Him even more than He may seem to need me now. If God is now in a position of need, it is because He and I have put Him there because of our bind of love, created in the lst creation. If God did not love me and create me, He would not now need me. And if I were not aware of this, I would not now need Him. But I am aware, and so the myth must be larger to be meaningful to me --- it must include the fact that I need God as much as He needs me, and that at one time, I needed Him even more. It can be argued that this is implied in the new myth: for in the new myth, both knower and known (ego and Self, man and God) are transformed in the process of consciousness creation. But the myth does not go far enough --- consciousness is not an end in itself, as the myth implies. And although it is a vital marker, it is only a half-way sign along the road back to God. If we stop at the creation of consciousness and believe we have arrived, it can mean that we stop at a point where we stagnate, where we take a breath that is actually outside the breath of God's created universe, where we are on our own and realize our separateness. "Consciousness" is a way of making the "immortal" mortal, but once we have made the immortal mortal, we must return with it back to immortality once again.

God is total consciousness and total life, and in the lst creation He created me so that I could have an identity, an existence apart from Him. And then He gave me His creation so that I could enjoy my existence apart from Him. But my true home, my true happiness is always in Him. It is not in creation, but creation does lead me back to Him, for it is movement and life, and whenever I become part of it, I am able to reach back to God. (As rock singer Stevie Nicks says in her song Angel, "...I close my eyes softly till I become that part of the wind that we all long for sometimes..."). When I am not part of this creation and movement back to Him, my existence is an unconscious one, in the sense that it is unconnected to a totally conscious God. When I create consciousness, I am not creating something that is the opposite of unconsciousness --- I am merely continuing to create my separate identity that God gave me in the lst creation. Yes, at those times, I am being a 2nd creator, but I am not creating so that God can become conscious of His creation and His attributes. I'm re-creating my separate existence apart from God. Consciousness consists in transforming transpersonal psychic reality into the substance of creation --- it is conditional to life in the process of becoming. I am in the process of becoming, that is why I continue to create my separate world. Once I have arrived, I "am" --- I am neither conscious nor unconscious, and the words cease to have meaning.

I guess that the statement I most agree with in the book is the one that says that we often think images are projections of our mind, but that if reciprocity exists, we may be projections of the transpersonal other. This to me is the key. We do not create consciousness and therefore make an "unconscious" God "conscious". God is aware of His world, totally conscious and always was. When we create consciousness, we re-create our separate, conscious existence from Him and bring Him into our newly created world in order to give it (our world) meaning. He accepts, because He knows that we need Him, and furthermore, He has waited all along for us (ever since we took our first independent breath) to invite Him in, because He loves us. But although He will always come if we invite Him, one day we must think about giving up the independent worlds we create and finding our home again in the perfect world He created in the beginning.

About 15 years ago, I wrote a poem that describes my experience of my relationship with God. Although it paints a "God-is-my-daddy" and I am "Daddy's-little-girl-that- maybe-never-can-grow-up" psychological portrait, it is nevertheless where I am at spiritually. It's my picture of my relationship with God, and it's the image I get when I "feel" that relationship. Spinning my own world is psychologically stimulating, and I must take responsibility for it, so I must surely never forget to invite God into my world --- to make Him "conscious" of it --- but somewhere inside of me I know, and I know that God knows that I know, there is the image of a perfect world that I never created, that was given to me by God as a gift, and that I can sometimes hear and remember when I stop myself from being so "conscious" of my world.

Poem

He loved me enough

to stop a moment in time

and create me,

For He always knew

that I was there

and needed Him.

His life flowed in me.

He raised me to Him

and showed me His world,

All that He was,

all that He is.

He told me it was mine,

if only I would want it.

He filled the spaces that surrounded me with music,

with the promise that my soul would never feel constraint

...if only I would hear.

He filled the time that surrounded me with thought,

with the memory of all that I had known

...if only I would remember.

And because He knew that sometimes,

all that He had given

would not be enough,

being the child that I am,

He loved me enough to release me,

to give me away,

to let me grow in a world that I could understand

...when I needed understanding,

to let me live in a world that I could love

...when I needed to be loved.

(Viennu)

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